Remember:
You are no less of a mother if you don’t carry your own child, no father has ever carried his child.
Again,
Families Through Surrogacy provided an insightful and thoughtful seminar on
surrogacy options.
Each
time I attend these events I meet lovely people and learn a little more about
surrogacy.
I
have to admit that I was late so did not hear all the presenters but with only attending
half the seminar I still learnt so much.
Surrogacy Solutions Inc
Kathryn
and Lauri from Surrogacy Solutions Inc spoke to us about the agency they set up
in USA, after dealing with infertility issues of their own.
Kathryn Kaycoff-Manos, MA –
Co-Director & Agency Owner
When my husband and I
married in 1999, we decided to start a family right away. Five years, 6 fresh
IVFs, 3 frozen embryo transfers, over 100 embryos and 2 Gestational Surrogates
later, we became the proud parents of identical twin boys.
Lauri Berger De Brito BS –
Co-Director& Agency Owner
I had no idea the
roller coaster ride my husband and I were about to take when we decided to
start a family. I was 36 years old when we got married. We decided to cut to
the chase and went straight to a fertility doctor. My pregnancy was uneventful
and my daughter announced herself to the world 3 1/2 weeks early. We quickly
started trying for #2.
We immediately got
pregnant with another non-medicated IUI but at ten weeks, the baby’s heartbeat
was gone. This was the beginning of what proved to be a very long descent into
the depths of infertility. For 6 ½ years, we tried everything — immune testing
and therapies, consultations with top clinics and REs from around the country,
donor egg — nothing worked. I did IVFs, ZIFT, DE/IVF, heparin, etc. We were at
the end of our rope when my husband brought up surrogacy.
The ladies say:
Because we have been
through this process ourselves (and many times over for our clients), we know
how easy it is to feel overwhelmed by the multitude of details at any point.
Our first-hand knowledge of the process is the unique thing that we bring to
the table as agency owners. We will always be able to see things from your
perspective in a way that other agencies can’t. Let us put our experience to
work for you. We deal with the details of the surrogacy so that you can
concentrate on the miracle of creating your baby.
If
you are interested in this approach you can obviously get in contact with that
agency.
They
did raise some interesting matters during their talk. (NOTE: Surrogacy in USA
is completely different to Australia, you must be aware of the legal
implications)
- In USA surrogacy costs about USD $130,000 to $150,000. Some agencies such as Surrogacy Solutions Inc spread this cost out over four stages:
- Stage 1:
- Setting up the surrogacy agreement and paying the related agency fees
- Approx. $50,000
- Stage 2:
- Contracts signed with surrogate
- Escrow fees $35,000 to $50,000
- Stage 3:
- Second trimester
- At this stage everyone will be aware of the number of babies that the surrogate is carrying
- Prebirth parentage order
- Stage 4:
- Escrow account must have at least $3,000 available for the surrogate
- Final health bills come in
- In SOME states of USA, a child born to a surrogate is your child and an American citizen. You need to be aware of the different laws as each state are very different.
- In USA, surrogates can ask for payments to assist with the pregnancy, they can include (but not limited to:
- A fee for the “pain and suffering”
- House keeping every two weeks
- Childcare fees for their existing children
- Maternity clothes etc
- USA state aid cannot be used to cover surrogacy, it is illegal.
- 50% of Surrogacy Solutions Inc’s surrogates are carrying a child for international clients
- Make sure you work with a bonded escrow agency
- Creating your embryos in Australia will be cheaper for intending parents. It seems that Australian women are not as “stimulated” as American women. The average number of eggs in Western Australia from a cycle is 8, whereas the number in America is 15 eggs.
- In 12 years and 500 surrogacy journeys, Surrogacy Solutions Inc has only had 5 surrogates that have needed to utilize their counseling services. They have three on-line surrogacy coordinators that were surrogates, they give support to the surrogates.
- People are often scared that the surrogate will want to keep the baby. In 12 years of Surrogacy Solutions Inc no surrogate has ever wanted to keep the baby. (My clinic in Western Australia has also said they have never heard of a surrogate wanting to keep the baby)
- If the intending parents are international, the expectation is that they will visit the surrogate 2-3 times during the pregnancy.
- Understand what an appropriate "gift" for your surrogate is. Trips to Disney Land are over the top.
- In America, they test they embryos for chromosomal abnormalities before the transfer, they do not in Australia.
- Often if surrogacy is legal in the state then the clinic will also be allowed to undertake sex selection.
One
of the biggest and most important message was to make sure that intending parents and surrogates
have the right qualities to undertake the very emotional process of surrogacy.
Qualities
of good intending parents:
- Trusting your team
- Trusting the doctors, agency and surrogate
- Communicate – learn to speak up
- Flexible – babies don’t follow a schedule so you will not be able to either
- Realistic – make sure you are realistic about your expectations
Qualities
of a good surrogacy:
- Healthy lifestyle
- Good network of support
- Good communication skills
- Good health and pregnancies
- Able to consider others point of view and be compliant
- Be 21- 40 years of age, surrogates are usually 28 – 38 years of age
- Good levels of maturity
- Good height / weight ratio (30-33 BMI)
It
is important to establish a kind, respectful friendship between the intending
parents and the surrogate. If there is a
mismatch in the communication styles of each party it can cause friction.
Dangerous Goods International
Dangerous
Goods International (DGI) is a global logistics company that specialises in the
transportation of hazardous goods worldwide. We focus on all 9 classes of dangerous
goods and provide a complete dangerous and hazardous goods logistics service.
There
are a range of legal issues surrounding the transfer of human embryo / sperm
and a need to obtain an export / import permits.
If
you get approval, embryos are transferred in a “dry shipper” you can hire a dry
shipper for 10 days, and a transfer can be organised.
A
really good starting point is to talk to people that regularly transport
extremely rare and fragile goods internationally.
Conference
Families
Through Surrogacy have an Annual Conference that is well attended and is a
great way to get connected to other people in the surrogacy community.
When:
Saturday 4th June 10am – 6pm
Sunday 5th June 9am – 3pm
Where: Hotel Pullman Brisbane, King George Square,
Brisbane
Parents and Surrogates speaking will
include:
Rachel Kunde, Marian Sandberg, Renee Golland, Clinton
Bryan-Mathieson, Danni McGaughey , Sam Everingham
Two Days of Panels and Presentations
Understanding US Insurance, Managing Costs, Locating a
Surrogate, Managing the Surrogate Relationship, Selecting an Egg Donor,
Important IVF decisions, Surrogacy in Mexico, Understanding US Surrogacy,
Surrogacy in Ukraine, Disclosure to Children, Latest Research
Renee Golland is amazing, she has such a commitment to the
surrogacy community. She has met with Ryan and I to talk through different
matters.
You will find some really giving and caring people on your
journey.
