Adopt Change

From the little I understand it sounds like there are some good arguments to review the current processes around fostering and adopting in Australia. 

15,000 kids waiting for parents to read them a bedtime story

http://www.adoptchange.org.au/home

Our Vision

Every child deserves a family, and we embrace adoption as a positive way of forming a permanent loving family.

Our Mission

To raise community awareness, encourage reform and empower all Australians to ensure all children have a permanent loving family.

End Game

1. Create a community movement supporting adoption.

2. In the next 3 years, double the number of children adopted in Australia and halve the wait time.

3. In the next 10 years, ensure adoption is available to every child who cannot be cared for by their biological parents.

Surrogacy – SBS Insight

Tonight, we watched the SBS Insight series that explored the topic of surrogacy. They interviewed a number of beautiful surrogacy and intending parents and they talked about their special stories.

There were a number of different opinions.

Surrogate No. 1:

• Surrogate wanted to be alone at the birth, it did not happen that way
• She was a surrogate for her sister
• She was supportive of altruistic surrogacy
• Unfortunately, they live a long way away – USA and Australia
• Intending parent felt that the pregnancy was very hard, hard to be so far away, and not experiencing birth
• Surrogate arrived at 36 weeks mark from USA, to be in Australia for the birth
• The sisters are closer for undertaking surrogacy
• They have experienced something beyond words

Surrogate No. 2:

• Wanted to be friends with the intending parents first
• Everything changed once the hypothetical became a reality
• 12 weeks scan was not normal, blood test detected T18 disorder, does not sustain life. Assumed termination would occur.
• The surrogate indicated that you really don’t know what you will do.
• Legally it is the surrogate’s decision to terminate or not.
• Needed to have very open discussions
• It seems that the biggest problem arise when there is an established relationship between the surrogate and intending parents before the surrogacy journey

Intending Parents No. 1:

• Gay couple that tried commercial surrogacy in USA, it was not successful
• Met with a surrogate from rural NSW, which was again unsuccessful due to health concerns with the surrogate
• Third time lucky
• You form a lifetime bond with the surrogate
• Inviting them into your family, creating a family
• It is special that the surrogate’s DNA is firmly embodied in the new family
• Not a tradition family but important to keep the family bond
• It is our family
• It took sleepless nights searching the web site, lots of chats with people on the web to find the surrogate
• Twins born at 27 weeks, bit scary as it is so early, the scare made it very real for intended parents and surrogate
• Surrogate must have an amazing husband that gives support
• Can never put a dollar amount on surrogacy, the surrogate will never be the same after surrogacy, it changes their life completely
• Intended parents would like to compensate the surrogate financially

Intending Parents No. 2:

• Surrogate from India, cost about $30,000
• They asked people but could not find anyone to help them
• In India, they met surrogate, doctor and lawyer
• Legal Agreements were signed with:
• Intending parent and clinic
• Intending parents and surrogate
• Intending parents and surrogate’s husband
• The surrogate gets about 3 or 4 years of wages (Approx. AUD$7,000) in addition they gave them extra money after the birth for the surrogates family

Researcher:

• Against all forms of surrogacy
• Altruistic surrogacy is exceptional, but extremely rare
• Concerns over the surrogacy’s right to life
• Wants to stop this industry before it becomes are big as prostitution
• Average expense for surrogacy in India AUD$70,000, local altruistic surrogacy in Australia AUD$30,000

Counsellor:

•      Undertaken 150 altruistic surrogacies
•      The established process is:
•      send intending parents and surrogate a list of questions
•      interview separately, as couples and all together
•      prepare report
•      all parties read the final report
•      Over the last 25 years (and 150 surrogacies) the counsellor has recommended 1 arrangement to not go ahead and questioned 10

Doctor:

• A bunch of cells is not a baby
• Surrogate is contributing an enormous amount to the cells to create a baby
• Believes that there are two biological mothers in a surrogacy process

Lawyer:

• Legal agreement is not binding, except for the financial payments
• If surrogate does not hand over baby then the surrogacy must pay back expenses
• In Australia, it is extremely difficult to get through the surrogacy process, lots of provisions in place it avoid exploitation
• Identified the issue with finances, such as in SA would cannot pay for life insurance for the surrogate
• A number of children are born overseas to surrogates, the children are bought back to Australia and become citizens
• 997 children that have come into Australia from overseas may not have parents as defined under Australian Law
• Not one person has been prosecuted for bringing a child(ren) into Australia born from surrogacy arrangement
• Illegal to undertake certain acts such as paying for expenses for the surrogate which would be considered normal
• there is an opportunity for regulation reform, and consistent approach to surrogacy across Australia

Top tip:

Life insurance is very important and highly recommended


A link to the SBS Insight page and a very complex and delightful story of sisters and surrogacy.

http://www.sbs.com.au/news/thefeed/story/having-amys-baby-sister-surrogate

I adore the raw happiness of the people I love...

I love this little piece Emily King wrote...

There really isn’t anything I adore more then to celebrate the raw happiness of the people I love. To just feel their presence as if it were the warmth of their soul holding yours. To see the familiar creases that fold gently beside their eyes when they smile and to hear their belly deep laugher grow into an uncontrollable uproar.  

To expose those pearly whites over the things they subconciously do, knowing they take their english breakfast brew with a dash of milk and one third of sugar, the sight of their matching flannelette jimmy jammers, tucked in each night, the never-ending phrases that catch on quicker than the common cold, understanding the importance of their tomato sauce to party pie ratio, enjoying the jingle of their gold bangles housed on their right wrist, relying on them to forever have their trusty tube of pawpaw for the sake of your own chapped lips, to just watch them, being their most natural selves, and to revel in the simple beauty of each other. It is so humbling to acknowledge the special people in your life, to accentuate their defining qualities and shed light on their unknown distinctiveness.

All i ask // tilt your mind set ever so slightly, re-focus your eyes and you too will see it. It needs not to be a celebration of grand significance to share love & thanks. I say hip hip hooray to those things that almost go unnoticed, memorialise your favourite humans habits, cast streamers and allow balloons to fly over the moments that make them, them.