Surrogacy – SBS Insight

Tonight, we watched the SBS Insight series that explored the topic of surrogacy. They interviewed a number of beautiful surrogacy and intending parents and they talked about their special stories.

There were a number of different opinions.

Surrogate No. 1:

• Surrogate wanted to be alone at the birth, it did not happen that way
• She was a surrogate for her sister
• She was supportive of altruistic surrogacy
• Unfortunately, they live a long way away – USA and Australia
• Intending parent felt that the pregnancy was very hard, hard to be so far away, and not experiencing birth
• Surrogate arrived at 36 weeks mark from USA, to be in Australia for the birth
• The sisters are closer for undertaking surrogacy
• They have experienced something beyond words

Surrogate No. 2:

• Wanted to be friends with the intending parents first
• Everything changed once the hypothetical became a reality
• 12 weeks scan was not normal, blood test detected T18 disorder, does not sustain life. Assumed termination would occur.
• The surrogate indicated that you really don’t know what you will do.
• Legally it is the surrogate’s decision to terminate or not.
• Needed to have very open discussions
• It seems that the biggest problem arise when there is an established relationship between the surrogate and intending parents before the surrogacy journey

Intending Parents No. 1:

• Gay couple that tried commercial surrogacy in USA, it was not successful
• Met with a surrogate from rural NSW, which was again unsuccessful due to health concerns with the surrogate
• Third time lucky
• You form a lifetime bond with the surrogate
• Inviting them into your family, creating a family
• It is special that the surrogate’s DNA is firmly embodied in the new family
• Not a tradition family but important to keep the family bond
• It is our family
• It took sleepless nights searching the web site, lots of chats with people on the web to find the surrogate
• Twins born at 27 weeks, bit scary as it is so early, the scare made it very real for intended parents and surrogate
• Surrogate must have an amazing husband that gives support
• Can never put a dollar amount on surrogacy, the surrogate will never be the same after surrogacy, it changes their life completely
• Intended parents would like to compensate the surrogate financially

Intending Parents No. 2:

• Surrogate from India, cost about $30,000
• They asked people but could not find anyone to help them
• In India, they met surrogate, doctor and lawyer
• Legal Agreements were signed with:
• Intending parent and clinic
• Intending parents and surrogate
• Intending parents and surrogate’s husband
• The surrogate gets about 3 or 4 years of wages (Approx. AUD$7,000) in addition they gave them extra money after the birth for the surrogates family

Researcher:

• Against all forms of surrogacy
• Altruistic surrogacy is exceptional, but extremely rare
• Concerns over the surrogacy’s right to life
• Wants to stop this industry before it becomes are big as prostitution
• Average expense for surrogacy in India AUD$70,000, local altruistic surrogacy in Australia AUD$30,000

Counsellor:

•      Undertaken 150 altruistic surrogacies
•      The established process is:
•      send intending parents and surrogate a list of questions
•      interview separately, as couples and all together
•      prepare report
•      all parties read the final report
•      Over the last 25 years (and 150 surrogacies) the counsellor has recommended 1 arrangement to not go ahead and questioned 10

Doctor:

• A bunch of cells is not a baby
• Surrogate is contributing an enormous amount to the cells to create a baby
• Believes that there are two biological mothers in a surrogacy process

Lawyer:

• Legal agreement is not binding, except for the financial payments
• If surrogate does not hand over baby then the surrogacy must pay back expenses
• In Australia, it is extremely difficult to get through the surrogacy process, lots of provisions in place it avoid exploitation
• Identified the issue with finances, such as in SA would cannot pay for life insurance for the surrogate
• A number of children are born overseas to surrogates, the children are bought back to Australia and become citizens
• 997 children that have come into Australia from overseas may not have parents as defined under Australian Law
• Not one person has been prosecuted for bringing a child(ren) into Australia born from surrogacy arrangement
• Illegal to undertake certain acts such as paying for expenses for the surrogate which would be considered normal
• there is an opportunity for regulation reform, and consistent approach to surrogacy across Australia

Top tip:

Life insurance is very important and highly recommended


A link to the SBS Insight page and a very complex and delightful story of sisters and surrogacy.

http://www.sbs.com.au/news/thefeed/story/having-amys-baby-sister-surrogate

I adore the raw happiness of the people I love...

I love this little piece Emily King wrote...

There really isn’t anything I adore more then to celebrate the raw happiness of the people I love. To just feel their presence as if it were the warmth of their soul holding yours. To see the familiar creases that fold gently beside their eyes when they smile and to hear their belly deep laugher grow into an uncontrollable uproar.  

To expose those pearly whites over the things they subconciously do, knowing they take their english breakfast brew with a dash of milk and one third of sugar, the sight of their matching flannelette jimmy jammers, tucked in each night, the never-ending phrases that catch on quicker than the common cold, understanding the importance of their tomato sauce to party pie ratio, enjoying the jingle of their gold bangles housed on their right wrist, relying on them to forever have their trusty tube of pawpaw for the sake of your own chapped lips, to just watch them, being their most natural selves, and to revel in the simple beauty of each other. It is so humbling to acknowledge the special people in your life, to accentuate their defining qualities and shed light on their unknown distinctiveness.

All i ask // tilt your mind set ever so slightly, re-focus your eyes and you too will see it. It needs not to be a celebration of grand significance to share love & thanks. I say hip hip hooray to those things that almost go unnoticed, memorialise your favourite humans habits, cast streamers and allow balloons to fly over the moments that make them, them. 

Find a grandparent...

I found this the other day. It is a very interesting concept and a beautiful way to connect with the more mature generation. 

Find a grandparent

http://www.findagrandparent.org.au

Be part of Find a Grandparent, the website connecting surrogate grandparents and families, and help bringing the generations together!

Some of the local authorities are supporting the initiative. 

"The City of Melville will be hosting a free information session on Wednesday, 18 November 2015, for the Find a Grandparent program, aiming to create meaningful social connections between young families and seniors.

The Find a Grandparent program is a Sydney based initiative that aims to connect families with a surrogate grandparent who will be able to share in happy family moments, such as the holiday season and school-based events like plays and sports carnivals.

City of Melville Mayor Russell Aubrey said the program is a wonderful initiative that will help bring people of different ages together to create a sense of family and community belonging.

“This program will bring families and seniors together to share new experiences and create great memories with each other,” he said.

“Many families in Australia live without older relatives and would welcome a surrogate grandparent into their family to pass on wisdom, stories and help raise and spend time with their children.

”Likewise many seniors have family that don’t live nearby and can feel lonely and isolated not being part of a family unit. The Find a Grandparent program is a great initiative to help support and bring people together of different generations for a mutually beneficial positive outcome.”

An information session and presentations from people who have created their own ‘grandfamily’ will be held at the Willagee Community Centre on the corner of Archibald and Winnacott Streets in Willagee on Wednesday, 18 November 2015, between 1:00pm to 2:30pm.

Bookings are essential and can be made by calling 9364 0295 or in person at Willagee Community Centre.

For more information call 1300 635 845 | 9364 0666"

Picnic in the park

Today, I met with some of WA's surrogates and arranging parents. It was a lovely morning chatting about where everyone was in the surrogacy journey. 

There were beautiful little babies, potential parents waiting with a pregnant surrogate and others still trying to find an altruist surrogate. It was a diverse collection of people all hopeful and positive. 

There was a general agreement that WA is a long way behind compared to the eastern states. Surrogacy has been legal for much longer in those states compared to WA, so often we have to explain details to the people we bump into in this journey. 

Today, was really rewarding. It is really nice to know that there are a few of us in WA. It is a great support group. 

The little ones are just adorable and the ladies are glowing with mother love. 

Market Madness

A friend and I had fun on the weekend. We made some beautiful, bright kids clothes for a market.

I called mine Garden Tea Party - 2015 Spring collection

It is good to keep busy with things you love to do, especially when it feels like it is taking forever for things to happen.

Feel free to have a look at the blog page I threw together. It needs a lot of attention!


http://randrmoda.blogspot.com.au


Remember, the first step is the hardest, so find something you love and go for it.

Good luck

Mukinbudin Spring Festival

Once a year the fabulous people of Mukinbudin put all their efforts into a three day spring festival. This year…

• ·      A fantastic dry boat race for all ages, those mad red hat ladies were spectacular
• ·      Baby animals for the babies
• ·      Craft and cakes
• ·      Clothes and jewelry
• ·      Food pop up vans
• ·      A band to entertain those that love to rock’n’roll

It is so much fun going home to catch up with family and friends. I had enough hugs and well wishes for a life time.

Ryan and I had some very special friends come with us, which made the weekend all the more important to us. 

You can see I really got into the swing of things and the sand pit was not the only place for the kids. 

It was a fabulous day which ended with a big cook up with wine and friends in a warm and welcoming home.