What makes a good Intending Parent?

At all the information events we attend, there is always a presentation about what makes a good surrogate. I wanted to explore what makes a good Intending Parent? (arranging parent, commissioning parent, etc)

There are the legal requirements of what makes an Intending Parent, the law is different in every state of Australia.  If you are an Intending Parent, I can only recommend investigating the relevant legislation. In Australia paying for a surrogate is illegal do not get confused with information from different jurisdictions that have different rules. 

I hate to say it, but you need to have sufficient financial security to start a journey that does not necessarily have a guaranteed outcome. The emotional distress of starting a journey you cannot pay for will not only cause emotional distress for you but many others.

I do not want to underestimate the importance of legal and financial impacts but I am particularly interested in the personal characteristics, the inner strength it takes to be Intending Parents.

Hope – you have to have an endless bucket of hope that you can draw on during this journey. There are so many different hurdles.

Tenacity – you will need to have the strength to keep going, even when you probably think you cannot.

Trust – have the ability to put aside prejudices and have the faith that someone else is beautiful enough to help you.

Grace – people may say silly things to you, you must have the patience and grace to ignore their negative comments and focus on the positives

Patience – this complex process will not happen quickly and there are not guarantees.  It is essential to build the relationship with your surrogate, especially in Australia as surrogacy must be altruistic.

Good relationship – you and your partner will be put under incredible stress, it is so important that you have a solid relationship, and you know how to look after each other

Good communication skills - this does not mean you have to talk all the time, but you do have to have the ability to keep good communication with your surrogate, no matter what happens.

Interesting Links:

Forming a Relationship with your Gestational Surrogate during Pregnancy

“First thing’s first – talk, talk, and then talk some more. You can’t talk too much when you are in the discovery phase of selecting a gestational surrogate. Once your surrogate mother is selected treat her how you’d like to be treated.”

https://www.fertilitysourcecompanies.com/forming-a-relationship-with-your-gestational-surrogate-during-pregnancy/

Advice from a Surrogate to Intended Parents

“Each new milestone in the pregnancy will bring with it a modicum of relief, but it is perfectly normal not to feel completely at ease until your little one is finally in your arms. Celebrate each step forward, and share your joys—and your fears—with your surrogate.”

“Have faith in the trust that you’ve given to her ability to carry a safe and healthy pregnancy.”

http://www.blogher.com/advice-surrogate-intended-parents